Early April of 1995, Gordon was talking with his ex-wife about child support and our diagnosis. Out of the blue, she tells him his daughter Lynn, who he hasn't seen in ten years, wants to come for a visit. Her mother cautioned us that this 11 year old had been running away. We were so excited about her coming and with the plans for our wedding wrapping up, we did not heed the warning. Arrangements were made for her to arrive the week before our wedding.

In the meantime, I received a scholarship to attend a conference in Montreal. I wasn't sure if I would know anyone, until I got to Union Station in Toronto.There I recognized many of the women from the previous retreat. Gordon arrived two days into the week - duffel bag in one hand and carnations in the other. I was so thrilled that he was there. I really needed a hug!!! He shared with me that when he left Toronto he asked if there was a smoking section on the train and was met with an abrupt, "no". A little while later, after the tickets were collected and the attendants busy in the kitchenette, the same fellow approached Gordon. "You come with me," he said. My fiance said his heart started pounding, thinking that something had happened to me and someone had messaged the train.We never owned a cell phone, so he just counted on me being at the station as planned the night before.Gordon was relieved when the gentleman took him to the baggage car and lite up a cigarette himself.The complete opposite happened on the return trip.The conductor threatened to throw Gordon and another fellow off the train if he caught them smoking between the cars once more! Big Barbarian! How could he not see how ill my partner was...duh!

Gordon's visit was to be our honeymoon because we would soon be back to living cheque to cheque. Conferences are were a bit stressful for me, not knowing what I should be taking notes of. Some experts have very heavy accents or they talked faster than I could write.

Our evenings were wonderful as we explored old Montreal, enjoying our dinners on some quaint little patio close by. Returning from a busy day of note-taking and and networking, I found candles adorning the table, and wine chilling. Gordon had made us steak dinner in the kitchenette. Someone must have pulled some strings because normally conference participants usually have to share a double room. But there we were, enjoying ourselves with everything we needed. Our suite had a great stone balcony and an amazing view of the old buildings around us. I could never remember the name of the hotel, let alone pronounce it. I only got lost once.What a wonderful week.

Soon after, I was heading to the airport to pick up my future step daughter. My mother-in-law to-be had plenty of ideas of where we could take her.Waiting patiently in the baggage carousel, Gordon was visibly nervous and most likely had a smoke in his hand. He had not seen her since she was one. At 11, she was traveling across country from Alberta to spend two months with people she didn't even know. Scanning the baggage area, I spotted a tall, lanky, freckle-faced girl with strawberry blond hair, looking for her bags. I could tell by the shape of her eyes and nose -  there was no mistaking who her father was. So I give him a nudge to go talk to her.

Getting settled in the car, we decided to take her to Ontario Place for the festival of lights. My mother in-law always enjoyed the gift shops. We bought strawberries to eat while we waited for the show to start. It was very awkward because she seemed to prefer to hang out with me or sit off by herself. She wasn't feeling the best since she got off the flight, so we got her some Gravol.Gordon didn't want to push her to talk. This was going to be a tough go.

Talking to her as she unpacked her suitcases, I noticed she didn't have a lot of clothes. But her bag contained empty liquor bottles of all different shapes and sizes. Her prize possession, though, was her ghetto-blaster.The first week I took her shopping for a few over-sized tee-shirts. But what did I know about what girls her age would wear? She quickly got to know kids in our building that soon became her allies. So right away we established some rules.

CM