I've learned that .................................angels really do exist on earth.

H. Jackson Brown Jr., the book On Hope

Even though I was immersed in everything from speaking in the schools, attending workshops, conferences, as well as trying to be there for my mom who was now diagnosed with cancer, at this time my support worker thought that I might benifit from having a support buddy, with whom I could share my feelings with (wise lady!) Lena turned out to be an awsome friend. We did coffee, shopping, we took part in a ceramics class. I didn't have a whole lot of patience for the tedious job of painting our projects. But I cherished the time my buddy and and I spent together. Lena went above and beyond and extended her support to Gordon as well. She was right in there, helping me with the plans for our up-coming wedding. Lena and her friend ran a women-focused progam on a local radio station.They invited me to share my story of living with HIV.

Checking the mirror at the bottom of the stairs before I left the house for the radio station, I heard a low wolf whistle - the kind you would hear at a construction sight. Blushing, I found Gordon with a wink and a smile. He wished me luck an assurred me he would tape the brodcast.

Off I went! Having planned to use a pseudonym, I wrote in big letters my new name on a piece of cardboard afraid that Lena would slip up.Things were going really well, Lena was asking me prepared questions. At this point I confessed to being afraid that I was being judged. During the break the host relayed a message from a viwer that wanted to asure me that nobody was judging me and that I was diong a great job. To this day I don't know whether it was my partner or not. He wouldn't confess. Coming to the end of the program the host looked directly at me a thanked me by my given name. I destintly remember my hand flying to my mouth. Now what!!! Too late - it was live! And that pause said it all. No back paddling here! We laughed it off after.

Returning home, Gordon had a big grin on his face and a welcome hug. He took a step back and shaking his head, he said I thought that might happen. I was so pleased that he was listening. He was always supportive of my efforts to educate.

The following summer I left the speaking behind and Gordon and I joined my sister Beth and her son, J at a cottage near Kincardine. J was only 4 and sis was six months pregnant.We had a great time entertaining J, strolling along the beach and taking the little train arround the park. It was a nice break from our lives living with the virus.

One evening, we were sitting around the camp fire. I was laying on a log, looking at the stars when J came over anxious to tell me something. I cautioned him not to spill my can of coke that was sitting on the ground. He took two steps back and fell directly into the campfire. I couldn't get up quick enough. I will nerver forget the look of shock on J 's face. It seemed to happen all in slow motion. Gordon grabbed him and rolled him around on the ground. Luckily J had just been changed in to pants and a sweater, which protected him. Also the wood that had just been added hadn't caught yet. That night I saw how well my honey handles crisis. You will see it again later in my stories.

All is not doom and gloom - hence, a few months later we were blessed with the arival of Christopher.

Angels on earth ......hell yes! CM

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