The Dreamer

I'm sitting alone in the Queen Street Commons Café downtown Kitchener, ON.. With respect to turning 50 yrs old this year, I ponder why I haven’t settled down with someone, and am planning for the next 50 yrs. It’s not too late, I keep telling myself, and still I’m sitting here alone. In a couple of days I begin rehearsals for the Laramie Project – 10 yrs later. With the reality of playing Matthew’s Father, trying to convince people of this, is what’s churning in my mind. Being a healthy, vibrant, actively searching and happy-go-lucky kind of guy, I’m still sitting here alone.
There’s an incredibly gorgeous guy that sits beside me. Should I indulge in conversation? I remember this guy from sitting on a park bench downtown, one day last summer, drinking my coffee and smoking my cigarette. (So much for that idea, as a couple of friends of his just came in and sat down, I’m still sitting here alone.)

I never even thought I would see 35 yrs of age, after having been diagnosed HIV+ when I was 31. This was an incredible turning point in my life, as I had just retired from a 17 yr career as a performing artist (classical ballet dancer). With turning 50 this yr, I am so so grateful for the friends I’ve made along this HIV journey, and you all know who you are. As an artist of any sort, especially one that is so physically demanding, you all of sudden become aware of getting older, and having to retire at an age where, it is extremely difficult to find other work, for some, in a totally foreign profession. I certainly will blog about these adventures, hopefully in the near future.

I would like to take this time to express my thanks to a couple of people, who have deeply inspired me to take on this blogging. Support services at ACG – AIDS COMMITTEE of GUELPH for asking me to jump on board, as well as Church Mouse, for your long-time friendship and compassion, to take this on for yourself, and encourage me to do the same through your own words… again, thanks guys.

 The Dreamer