LEARN TO LISTEN.OPPORTUNITY SOMETIMES KNOCKS VERY SOFTLY. Life's little treasure book on hope.
h. Jackson Brown Jr.
It was Jan '97, with so many opportunities coming to share my experiences publicly. I had been searching for something tangible that was reminiscent of Gordon to take with me to my next presentation. This particular day Gordon's sister Maggie asked if she could come along to hear me speak. Off we went to the local high school. Being in the audience, she was able to gage the students' reactions better than I could. Afterwards she shared with me that while I told my story, the girl sitting in front of her was crying and the one sitting beside her (Maggie) was quizzing her out as to who she might be and what her connection was to Church Mouse. At most presentations I was accompanied by the Education Coordinator, another PHA (person living with HIV & AIDS) or an affected client/speaker. It often worked better If I was paired up with someone more vocal than the quiet Church Mouse. But I could step up to the plate If I was called on to do so.
Over the next 10 years I did presentations on my own, searching out opportunities for myself. I loved the adrenaline rush I got everytime I stepped up to the podium. My knees would shake as well as my hands. I often gripped the side of the podium to still the shaking but this evidently caused my knuckles to turn white, plus it made it hard to turn the pages of my anticipated words. I always devoured the moments when we returned to the office and read the feedback sheets.On some occasions the person I was presenting with would say, "okay, go ahead, I know you are dying to read them" so I would read the comments aloud as they drove. A lot of them brought me to tears. We often got the comment that "it was great to finally put a face to this disease." As well, they appreciated us taking the time to share our stories.
I could not and would not share my story without sharing Gordon's.We would have made a great team. He had a great way with people. I remember when he was in the hospital and the nurses would ask questions about AIDS. He did not shy away or get angry. He told me, "I just want to educate people about what we are living with."
Back to my search for a tangible item that was reminiscent of Gordon. Even though I had been through Gordon's belongings many times, nothing jumped out at me. Dumping the box onto my bed something caught my eye... earlier it must have been wedged in between other photos, cards and other things. .It was the photo section of Gordon's wallet. As I open it I see my picture from my graduation from Interior design (our first date). Across from it was a card cut down to fit the picture. It was of two little bears, one male and one female, holding hands walking along the beach wearing heart shaped sunglasses. The words read......"FRIENDS MAKE IT BEARABLE" This was almost as good as a hug! Thanks Gordon!
CM
Posted on
Tue, February 14, 2012
by Megan DePutter
filed under