Yesterday I had the pleasure of attending the youth-focused Harm Reduction Forum called Bridging the Divide, presented by the Wellington Guelph Drug Strategy, which was centred on how workers could improve services to youth, particularly those dealing with addictions. It included an excellent panel presentation and an outstanding video featuring youth who shared their experiences and needs from service providers.

At last year's Harm Reduction Forum, I wrote the following (published) letter to the editor at the Guelph Mercury, following a letter that highlighted the dangers of Levamisole being cut into cocaine:

I’m not sure why the journalist attending the Harm Reduction Forum put on by the Drug Strategy Advisory Committee on Friday, March 11, chose to write an article on Levamisole, the animal de-wormer that is now commonly being cut into cocaine. Although a serious matter, there were many more solutions-focused concepts to come alive in the forum, which can help our community respond to these types of issues. As an audience member, I was truly inspired by many of the great works being done by various organizations in the tri-city area, many of which are working in partnership with members of the drug using communities. By employing the principles of harm reduction and by working collaboratively with people who have a history of street involvement, we can build a safer, healthier community. One of the individuals speaking from the panel of lived experience said that, “it’s easy to see why Guelph was named as the most caring community.” But labeling people as “addicts” and forgetting about their skills, strengths, and valued lived experience only further marginalizes and isolates people. Let’s live up our positive reputation by supporting harm reduction programs and working together as a community despite our differences.

I was disappointed that last year's journalist chose to focus on something "sensational" instead of the heart of the forum.  Last year's session was a great example of how people with lived experience of addiction and housing insecurity issues can work collaboratively, as well as the importance of harm reduction and housing in our community. Why weren't these positive developments highlighted? I was really moved by the lived-experience panel at last year's session.Wasn't the journalist?

With issues like HIV, addiction, mental house and housing insecurity, the media often tries to pick up the most sensational subject, usually failing to capture the complexities or true nature of the issue.

That's why I was thrilled today to see the front page article titled, "Youth given a voice at Guelph harm reduction forum." They captured some of the important, exciting and moving features of the day, including the fact that service providers - including the Chief of Police - were there to listen and learn from youth. (You can read the article here.)

It is so refreshing to get some positive recognition in the media about harm reduction! Thank you to the Wellington Guelph Drug Strategy and all the youth who participated.

Last September I wrote about having some success with my hobby. When I was diagnosed HIV positive and left my job, I needed a hobby so I used some of my money to buy a decent digital camera and get back to my love of photography. I take most of my photos in colour but black & white are by far my favourites. If I think one of my photos would look good in black and white, thanks to digital technology, it’s just an extra click on a photo program.

Last August I took a picture the sun going down behind the reeds in a pond out at the old prison property and a local artist seen it on my flickr page. She contacted me and asked if she could use it as inspiration for a piece of art. I was thrilled that anyone would even ask; I agreed right away. She did tell me that her creation wouldn't look identical but the spirit of my photo would be noticeable, I guess that the best way to describe it.

Well last week I was checking new photos from my friends and contacts on flickr and there it was, a photo of her finished artwork of my photo. With it were a couple close up pictures to show how it was created, she calls herself a thread painter. She creates everything with a sewing machine and fabric. I find it to be so original, one of a kind and it would be hard to recreate this piece.

The artist's name is Sharron Begg and she will be showing her piece of art at the Elora Centre for The Arts in Elora Ontario from Monday, May 21st to Sunday, July 1st. The piece is called "Through The Reeds". I really want to go, I have yet to meet her actually.

This brings me to making the decision, finally, to start showing my photos - its artwork too - so I'm looking for places that I can do that. Two weeks ago an email from the Waterloo Region Rainbow Coalition was forwarded to me seeking artists from the LGBTQ community to display artwork at their "Discussion on Diversity" event on June 14th. I have applied to see if I can show mine, I sent them four samples that I would be showing. I have the frames ready, pictures are blown up to fit, including the one that was the inspiration for the artwork. I'm not allowed to sell anything there but I am able to provide contact information. I am tapping my foot waiting to hear back telling me I am accepted. When I do get the call I will post info. Crossing my fingers.

And that isn't all that I'm excited about. I was given a teaser from ACG about a program that is upcoming that will involve photography and I can get be a part of it. I don't have all the details yet so when its about to take off, they will be sending it out to other possible participants. So stay tuned and sign up, all events are "no experience necessary".

*Sharron Beggs has given me permission to mention her in this blog.

By Wayne Bristow (Chat Junkie)

What does being "sex positive" mean to you?

I was following ACG's Twitter (@AIDSGuelph) a while ago and I notice that Megan had put this out to the online world. She recently told me that it didn't get any responses. This surprised me. The subject used to stump me. How do you answer this; what is it?

I attended a workshop recently where this term was used and explained but it didn't address the thoughts I had on it. My take on it is based on something I learned while taking the Positive Prevention Train the Trainer course a couple years ago. Sure there are a lot of scientific and medical parts to what it may mean to be “sex positive” but I decided to share my thoughts which are more based on an emotional definition. Is it possible to have a healthy sex life after a HIV+ diagnosis? And what would that look like?

I remember years before my diagnosis, I would be online, I'd watch conversations by many people saying that when you test HIV+, your sex life should be over, you should not be having sex. Oh yeah, there would be some who spoke up to say that you can still have sex by using condoms and practice safe sex like we were all supposed to be doing. In my opinion this thinking still goes on, and the ratio seems to be more people still think that HIV positive people shouldn't be having sex with other people. I had met people who were in relationships where one person was positive and the other negative and they remained this way for over 10 years, so I knew and believed it is possible to still have sex even after testing positive.

I had my status broadcasted over the internet; I sat and watched as it happened. For two hours I sat in front of my monitor watching all the people I had been chatting with for years debate the fact that I should have had my status in my profile, that I should tell everyone, everyday, that I should not be in a chatroom trying to meet people. I was dirty, I should be shot, I should be run over, I was a dishonest person, I should be locked up and the key thrown away, no one should meet me let alone have sex with me.

Being sex positive for me is believing I can still have sex, good sex, safe sex, using the same safe practices that everyone else should be using. I AM worthy of it, I AM an honest person. I have always disclosed my status to any possible partners. In fact, I don't meet anyone face to face without telling them first. It’s the choice I made from the beginning.

Having been diagnosed HIV+ coupled with a little aging has settled me down but it looks like I'm going to be around a while longer. My wild days are over, now I want more out of life and sex from just one person. There are plenty of ways to have sex without taking risks, It doesn't have to involve sexual intercourse or an all out sex Olympics, instead it can be a lot of human contact, intimacy and mutual gratification. I don't want to get too graphic here but let’s just say, foreplay doesn't have to be time limited and masturbation isn't going to make you blind (but you might close your eyes a lot.)

Yes, it is possible to have a good sex life, a healthy sex life with an HIV+ diagnosis and it can be great, the message is the same… play safe. This is what being "sex positive" means to me, positively!

By Wayne Bristow (Chat Junkie)

To be (a PHA) or not to be? How I answer that question.

In the last couple weeks I have been a part of a friendly debate about being called a PHA and naturally I am the one who makes it a debate. While others don't like the the acronym, I don't have a real problem with it. For me its what I'm known as in the HIV community, at my AIDS Service Organization, at training sessions, at HIV conferences or anything else that I do as a person living with HIV. But that is just a small part of who I am and a small part of my world.

First, I am a son, a brother, a cousin, I'm an uncle, a father and a grandfather. I am someone's friend, someone's co-worker, or a fellow student. When I am any of these other persons, I am not a son who is a PHA, or a friend who is a PHA, on a bus or standing in line at the department store, I don't have to introduce myself by saying, "Hi, I'm Wayne and I'm a PHA. Only when I stand before my peers do I need to be a PHA. It's at that time I wear my hat proudly, for me its my PhD. I live it, I know more about it than some who works in the HIV community.

I believe the HIV community has to be a leader in the creation of acronyms. Every organization we talk about or associate with is known first by its acronym. This is the ACG blog, there is an ASO in KW known as ACCKWA. The ACG is associated with the OHTN, OAN, CAS. See what I mean?

ACG - AIDS Commitee of Guelph Wellington
OAN - Ontario AIDS Network
OHTN - Ontario HIV Treatment Network
CAS - Canadian AIDS Society
ACCKWA - AIDS Commitee of Cambridge Kitchener Waterloo and Area
KW - Kitchener Waterloo

I can live with the PHA tag because right now it stands for a "Person Living With HIV/AIDS", it's something positive. If a time comes when someone outside the HIV community asks me what it stands for it's going be a positive conversation, the words "living with" will lead people to want to know more. How do you "live" with HIV?

Whether I use the full phrase or the acronym, for me the result is the same. Being so active in the community, acronyms have become a big part of my vocabulary. I use to say, "WHAT?", now I know and use most of them. Talk to me, you'll find out.

No matter what they call us it will have a name, a label. I know where the term came from, The Denver Principles, and I know why. It told people who we were and don't do anything that is about us without us.

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I spend a lot of time online following social media. Many hours I'm on Facebook and Twitter reading and sharing things I think are important to me and ACG and my peers. One of my many passions is searching for more information on HIV and aging. Being someone who is living with both, it's becoming important to me to make sure I can live out my senior years with dignity like anyone else. What I'm learning is that the healthcare system isn't really ready for me as a gay man, or as someone who is living with HIV.

Some things I have read online are, every 12 seconds someone in the world will be infected with HIV, in America it's believed that every 9.5 minutes someone will be infected. I haven't heard any numbers being mentioned for Canadians but I'm sure there are and we need to be very concerned. What these numbers tell us is that there are many people right now who are aging with HIV and will soon be part of the healthcare system in the near future; there will be many hundreds of thousands who will follow.

When scientists, medical establishments and activists learned what they were dealing with back in the early 1980s they went to work to organize and find treatments and learn how to care for the people who were infected. Due to all the work they did over the years and what we've learned from the survivors, we are now able to live long full and worthwhile lives with HIV today. They are all leaders, true heroes in my mind. We can never forget the people who lost the fight. Their existence gave scientists and the medical community so much valued information.

In 2010, I sat on a panel at ACG's HIV and Aging Symposium. During that event I listened to a gentleman talk about his work trying to find out what Long-term care had available for the LGBTQ community. I have to say, I wasn't impressed to hear what the healthcare people were telling him: "we don't know, we've never had a gay person in one of our facilities". WHAT? Hearing this only strengthened my need to make this my mission - I must get involved and try to make things better for my peers and for myself.

Like the leaders and heroes that came before us, the ones who made it easier for us to live outside a closet, who made it possible for us to live with HIV, we are the leaders of today and tomorrow who must take us the rest of the way. We can make the world better for us all. We need to organize like they did in the 80s, we need to open talks with the Healthcare system. We need them to understand that we are humans, that HIV isn't something to be afraid of, that Universal precautions are all that is needed like with another patient/client/resident.

I know that ACG is going to be active in reaching out to the healthcare system in our area and I want to be a part of it in anyway I can. Having worked as a Personal Support Worker, I can see how the stigma and lack of education I encountered is present in the healthcare system. I believe in putting a face to this disease and telling my story. It will have some impact on changing the stigma and beliefs of many people working in healthcare.

You can find posts by John at PositiveLite here.

Thanks for reading!

Megan

 The Dreamer

The first couple of days have come and gone, progress is beginning to override skepticism. Yes, the “Laramie project – 10 years later”. Wow, why am I so excited? Matthew was killed. He was someone’s child that never even saw his 22nd birthday.

‘ON OCTOBER 6, 1998, A GAY UNIVERSITY OF WYOMING STUDENT, MATTHEW SHEPARD, LEFT THE FIRESIDE BAR WITH AARON MCKINNEY AND RUSSELL HENDERSON. THE FOLLOWING DAY HE WAS DISCOVERED AT THE EDGE OF TOWN. HE WAS TIED TO A FENCE, BRUTALLY BEATEN, AND CLOSE TO DEATH.’

I’m trying to convince a friend of mine to audition for a role in the play. One of the roles that still needs to be filled is that of the killer... Go figure. Actually, I personally feel that he is very suited for the role. It’s so strange… a friend portraying a killer? Go big, or go home, is what someone said to me one day.

I love acting; it’s just so strange when it relates to real life situations. When you’re so involved with contemplating sentencing someone to death, the emotions of why, why, why did this have to happen, makes the wounds even deeper. Damn, my son is dead, and you’re looking the killer in the face, so engulfed with hate. Moments like these, become so real inside you, and by the end of the day you’re exhausted.

As I was saying earlier, I struggled with bullying as a youth growing up. My choice to become an artist from the age of 10 certainly was not common, especially for a male to want to become a ballet dancer. A quote from the Detroit newspaper: “he tossed off pirouettes, like kids his age toss snowballs”. This was published when I was about 13 years old, as I was asked to perform in Dance Detroit’s version of the nutcracker from 1976-1980. I managed to survive this in my elementary school years, as my teachers were aware of the bullying, and asked if I wanted to perform a dance number at our grade 8 graduation. I have been so grateful all these yrs, for them suggesting this, as all the students sincerely congratulated me, and all put their words in the program, to apologize for their behaviour… I still have that program to this day.

Unfortunately, this all started over again once I entered into high school. It didn’t help that I was one of, if not the shortest kid entering grade 9. I was better able to handle it though, having said what I just indicated earlier. I have to thank most of my family as well, for understanding and supporting me along the way.

I should mention that I became interested in ballet thanks to a touring group with the National Ballet of Canada that performed at our school in London. I went home that night and informed my parents that I wanted to start dancing. My mother, bless her heart, handed me over the phone book, and said go to it. Fortunately, my first choice was “Dorothy Carter’s School of Dance Arts,” later to become under the direction of her daughter, “Victoria Carter’s London Dance Centre”.

I’m certain we can’t do things alone. I don’t have a direct reason as to why I succeeded as far as I did; only that many loved ones were there when they were needed. Certainly, stubbornness on my part helped, and that even became a deterrent at times.

As I said earlier, this is also why I chose to be part of this play. I’m only hoping that some of my own positive experiences can be shared with those, who may have their own struggles to contend with, in regards to such unfortunate behaviours from others.

Before I close off again for now, I spent the evening with a friend last night and we decided to go to a karaoke bar. To my surprise, this was not the usual country and western style music… I only sung a couple of songs. Garth brooks – If Tomorrow Never Comes, as well as, Frank Sinatra’s My Way. The bar was full of college students, so you can imagine how noisy it was… when I sung My Way, you could almost hear a pin drop. I’ve been singing this song a long time also, as it seems to relate to my life more than one can imagine.

I'm sitting alone in the Queen Street Commons Café downtown Kitchener, ON.. With respect to turning 50 yrs old this year, I ponder why I haven’t settled down with someone, and am planning for the next 50 yrs. It’s not too late, I keep telling myself, and still I’m sitting here alone. In a couple of days I begin rehearsals for the Laramie Project – 10 yrs later. With the reality of playing Matthew’s Father, trying to convince people of this, is what’s churning in my mind. Being a healthy, vibrant, actively searching and happy-go-lucky kind of guy, I’m still sitting here alone.
There’s an incredibly gorgeous guy that sits beside me. Should I indulge in conversation? I remember this guy from sitting on a park bench downtown, one day last summer, drinking my coffee and smoking my cigarette. (So much for that idea, as a couple of friends of his just came in and sat down, I’m still sitting here alone.)

I never even thought I would see 35 yrs of age, after having been diagnosed HIV+ when I was 31. This was an incredible turning point in my life, as I had just retired from a 17 yr career as a performing artist (classical ballet dancer). With turning 50 this yr, I am so so grateful for the friends I’ve made along this HIV journey, and you all know who you are. As an artist of any sort, especially one that is so physically demanding, you all of sudden become aware of getting older, and having to retire at an age where, it is extremely difficult to find other work, for some, in a totally foreign profession. I certainly will blog about these adventures, hopefully in the near future.

I would like to take this time to express my thanks to a couple of people, who have deeply inspired me to take on this blogging. Support services at ACG – AIDS COMMITTEE of GUELPH for asking me to jump on board, as well as Church Mouse, for your long-time friendship and compassion, to take this on for yourself, and encourage me to do the same through your own words… again, thanks guys.

 The Dreamer

As I wrote in my last post, I’m currently now undertaking 3 roles in the production. Below I have shared some quotations from the script, to give you an idea of the roles I’ve be chosen for in the “Laramie Project – 10 years later”.

Please note – any sentences or paragraphs in "quotations" are quotes taken directly from the script... again thank-you, and I hope you all enjoy as we go.

My role as Dennis Shepard – (Matthews’ Father)
“My son Matthew did not look like a winner. He was rather uncoordinated and wore braces from the age of 13 until the day he died. However, in his all too brief life he proved that he was a winner. On October 6, 1998, my son tried to show the world that he could win again. On October 12, 1998, my first born son, and my hero, lost. On October 12,1998, my first born son, and my hero, died, 50 days before his 22nd birthday.”

My role as Dave O’Malley – (Retired Laramie police officer - Lead Investigator) on the Matthew Shepard case
“Well, I tell you what, we now have the AIDS Walk here in Laramie, it’s in its 6th year, OK? And its grown. Last year we raised around $22,000 dollars. And $5,000 dollars at drag queen bingo alone! I mean we had drag queens at the Cowboy Bar. Jim and Jason and Travis and they put on just a great production you know. Yeah, at the Cowboy Bar!”

My role as Matt Michelson – (Former owner of the Fireside Bar)
“Yeah, I had to sell the Fireside. On one side people were like, 'Local Gay Bar' and then on the other they’re like, 'Crazy Red-neck Gay Slayers!' For seven years---I tried to ride that shit out. I did eight hundred and some thousand dollars in sales that year that Matt was killed. The next year I did forty three thousand, crushed me. I had put that shit up for sale.”

I’ve chosen to blog about the ‘Laramie Project – 10 years later’, as I feel Matthews’ life should always be remembered. I know nothing about Matthew, and I’ve never acted in a play with such content of information, that makes you feel so overwhelmed with emotion and emptiness. This certainly would not have been a choice of Matthews’, to have been brutally murdered, may he rest in peace. There are many tragic events that take place in life as we all know, however, I don’t believe there are words to describe a persons’ fate brought on by someone else of this magnitude. It certainly is not my intent to distinguish between right or wrong, defend or criticize, and there have already been many occasions why I feel I’m even undertaking if you will, this role towards trying to make sense of it all.

With respect to all of this, my hope is that the Shepard Family will always carry with them, the undying love and support that has come out of this tragedy.

Again, Matthew – may you REST IN PEACE

The Dreamer

Greetings Everyone,

Let me introduce myself as "The Dreamer…" I found the name fitting, simply because I suppose a perfect existence for myself and others is ultimately what I seek in life. There’s no chance of that I know, but keep on dreaming, I tell myself.

"Is the love I gave her in the past / going to be enough to last / If Tomorrow Never Comes”…Garth Brooks. I sing this song a lot at karaoke.

I’m a male resident of Kitchener, ON, having moved here from my hometown London, ON in 1995. I’m a long-time volunteer with an AIDS organization, as well as a client, as I was diagnosed HIV+ in 1993. I also do volunteer work for an HIV/HEPC Specialist, who said to me one day, "why don’t you write a book." I suppose by blogging, it’s a start to that adventure.

I’m currently undertaking a couple of roles in the ‘LARAMIE PROJECT – 10 years later’. I will be blogging about my experiences with this production. I chose to be part of this play to show my own undying respect, for a young gentleman – Matthew Shepard, who only wanted to show the world who he really was. I’m certain that Matthew's life, as short as it was, will never be forgotten. These types of injustices and cruelty to mankind as a whole, just shows us how vulnerable this world is to meaning nothing. Also, this production, being held at the bar SIZZLE in Cambridge, ON, in the end of April, 2012, strives to focus on essential concerns towards bullying, that affect so many of us, especially amongst the youth in society. This is something that hits home for me, as I was bullied most of my elementary school years.

Please note: The members of the Tectonic Theatre Group gathered the information and created the play, which is being graciously directed and hosted by the owners of SIZZLE.

Just a reminder that the deadlines for scholarships to the Canadian AIDS Society: 2012 People Living with HIV/AIDS Forum and AGM is coming this Friday! The Forum and AGM will be in Toronto June 13-15th.

For more information, check out our calendar listing

 By B.J. Caldwell, Educator

For those people infected with both HIV and Hepatitis C, the treatment of their Hep C just got a bit more complicated. With the two new powerful and effective drugs that recently hit the market to treat Hep C, the likelihood of curing Hep C in more people has become a reality. With telaprevir (a protease inhibitor itself) we were already aware of quite a few interactions with HIV  ritonavir-boosted protease inhibitors that made that drug not ideal for many people on HIV treatment. Boceprevir, the other new Hep C drug, initially had much fewer HIV related drug-drug interactions making it seem the better choice for those coinfected with Hep C and HIV.

Merck, the makers of boceprevir, recently sent out a "Dear Dr." letter to physicians regarding some new results showing that it, too, had some significant interactions with ritonavir-boosted HIV protease inhibitors. Merck now does not recommend using boceprevir with ritonavir-boosted HIV PIs.

This means that, currently, there is no optimal Hep C protease inhibitor for HepC/HIV coinfected patients, especially those on a ritonavir-boosted PI for their HIV treatment. It also shows why careful assessment of coinfected people is critical ---- many coinfected people are stable enough to wait until the next wave of Hep C drugs coming down the pipeline. And there have been some AMAZING early results with drugs currently in testing (as presented at the annual AASLD conference late last year). Breathtaking, really. More on those later!

by B.J. Caldwell, Educator

When the most recent treatment guidelines came out last year suggesting that we begin HIV treatment earlier (at least when a person's CD4 count reached 500, with more than half the panel suggesting above 500) it was a continuation of a trend : treat HIV earlier. The evidence continues to mount that the early treatment of HIV disease is the best for both the person living with HIV and their long-term outcomes and quality of life; and, their HIV negative partners in relation to reducing transmission.

It is time to retire the "you may have 10 years before needing to go on therapy" counseling, something that might have been done in the past to soften the blow of someone hearing that they're HIV positive. This kind of delay is highly unlikely, and may be limited to the small fraction of patients who have very low HIV viral load and very high CD4s. With the recently released Setpoint study (Journal of Infectiousd Diseases), which was stopped early due to the results received, it shows that even in newly infected HIV+ people should they decide to defer treatment, there is a high likelihood they will need to start treatment relatively soon. Important to note that the results would have been even more in favour had the study used the new treatment guidelines of starting treatment at 500 (the study was organized in the early 2000s before the change was made)

And with the presentation of a study at the IAS Conference in Rome last year that showed that early HIV treatment (CD4 count of 350-550) prevents HIV from being passed onto uninfected partners by at least 96%, the concept of (HIV) Treatment as (HIV) Prevention has even more basis in science. It received a standing ovation from those at the conference. While Seek and Treat programs (many of which are fashioned after the BC Centre for Excellence in HIV/AIDS) have some serious challenges, including ethical and logistical ones, the science is becomming more clear: by using treatment to reduce the viral load of those with HIV in our communities (aka community viral load), there is less HIV transmission.

CATIE's Positive Side magazine has a great article on SimonThwaites (by Jennifer McPhee). Simon first made headlines taking the Canadian Armed Forces to court for firing him for being HIV positive in 1989 (which was upheld by the Federal Court of Canada in 1994 in a landmark decision) and has since found a new way to connect with others via his art.[Above Artwork: Frustration, by Simon Thwaites]

I wanted to express a great big thank you to all of our participants and volunteers who made this a great year! To those of you who have participated in the Positive Prevention workshops, Train-the-Trainer, the testing campaign, the research study, and other events, thank you from the bottom of my heart for contributing your time, effort, knowledge and humour! I appreciate the diversity of experiences, ideas and personalities that make this a very special community. I am very glad to be a part of it!

I look forward to new adventures this next year and hope that each one of you experience the same.

Have a safe and happy holiday. ACG will be closed all next week, reopening on January 2nd.

Best wishes and season's greetings!

Megan DePutter,

Positive Prevention Coordinator

by B.J. Caldwell, HIV Educator

This past year the HIV community in North America lost an amazing physican whose online contributions to The Body website were both prolific, extremely honest, and often absolutely hilarious. In addition to his own practice and foundation he was a very frequent poster in the Safe Sex and Prevention forum part of the website answering all kinds of questions.

When I first entered the HIV field and was doing a lot of personal education online and came across Bob's QnA's. I learned a lot, and laughed even more. His personality, humour, and friendly attitude instantly became something I aspired to. I frequently made return trips to the site and continued to learn and laugh.And when I get certain questions in my role as an HIV educator, I always think of Dr. Bob.

Like many people, I was shocked to learn that he had passed away recently (Sept. 17) and instantly thought of some of my favourite posts of his. Each year The Body staff would look over all the QnA's for the "Truest but Strangest" questions. Dr. Bob was "the reigning master" of these types of questions and his were often chosen. They have just put together a list of 10 "Best of the Dr. Bob" QnA's (6 new ones, and 4 all-time classics). If you haven't had the pleasure of 'meeting' Dr. Bob (or if you are a long-time fan) I encourage you to check out this recent "Best of Dr. Bob" list and vote for your favourite.

It's time to rest now, Bob. Thanks for inspiring and educating me, and thousands of others.

by B.J. Caldwell, HIV Educator

The Canadian HIV/AIDS Legal Network's campaign to fix the current CAMR legislation (so it can actually work providing low-cost generic HIV drugs to developing countries hardest hit by HIV) needs your help.

Please read their call for help and donate if you can. A donation in someone's name can be a great holiday gift! Just sayin!. From the legal network:

It’s Week #2 of the Fix CAMR giving campaign and we have raised over $2700 dollars so far. We have been thrilled by the response from Canadians across the country who care about reforming Canada’s Access to Medicines Regime and ensuring people in the developing world have affordable access to the medicines they need to survive. But our campaign can’t move ahead without support from people like you. WE NEED YOU to help us reach our $10 000 goal. Please visit http://www.medicinesforall.ca today and give what you can to support the campaign to fix CAMR. This money will help us make sure 2012’s expected new legislation gets through Parliament and is passed into law so Canada can start exporting life-saving, affordable drugs to those most in need in the developing world.
Please also help us promote this campaign far and wide by sharing this email with your networks, friends and family, tweeting the campaign website and sharing it with your friends on Facebook. Don’t forget that if you donate by December 25th you will be entered to win a concert prize pack from Juno-award winning artist and fellow CAMR Reformer, K’NAAN.
The need for global, equitable access to medicines is just as urgent as ever. People are dying because they cannot afford to buy life.There's no time to waste. Please visit www.medicinesforall.ca and donate today to help fund the campaign to fix CAMR and make good on Canada’s promise of years ago to supply more affordable drugs to developing countries.

In Solidarity,
Canadian HIV/AIDS Legal Network

CATIE has posted some great information on a recently released study looking at the effects of being coinfected with HIV and HBV (Hepaititis B Virus). While, of course, more study is needed it does provide some interesting data that should help inform researchers and treating physicians. The study results show that it is more important than we thought to both prevent HBV infection and treat it effectively and as soon as possible in those who are coinfected.

There are times when I'm asked what message would I like to give to people about HIV. It stumps me. So many things run through my mind and I always forget a few. I have learned so much in the last couple years, so now I have a list of messages. I know by the time I finish this I will have forgotten some while trying to remember others. It could be just a normal aging thing or it could be part of the HIV and aging process I'm currently learning about.

So here are some of my tips based on what I have learned. If you have any questions or comments, please leave them below and someone will respond. All comments have to be monitored by the site manager so all questions can be answered anonymously. Any personal questions for me about living with HIV I will answer as honestly as I can.

1) Learn the risks and get educated on the current information. It's not the 80's anymore and it's not just a gay disease. Depending on your lifestyle and sexual behaviour, there is a risk factor that you could be taking. Contact your local AIDS Service Organization: (ACG) AIDS Committee of Guelph and Wellington County here in Guelph or ACCKWA (AIDS Committee of Cambridge, Kitchener & Waterloo and Area) in Kitchener/Waterloo. By contacting these ASOs you can learn what activities have the highest risk or the lowest risk, but remember, low risk is still a risk. ACG and ACCKWA can also give you information for Hep C treatment and access to support.

2) If you are re-entering the dating scene, it's a whole lot different now. You must not just take someone's word that they are negative. Ask them and find out. Insist on using a condom. A person who cares about you and about themselves will not have a problem using one.

3) Until you know someone is negative always use a condom, not just for protection from HIV but from STIs (sexually transmitted infections) as well. If you contract an STI first, your body is busy fighting it and HIV can find its way into your system a little easier and in most cases it will continue to fight the STI first.

4) If you know someone, such as a friend or family member, who may be putting themselves at risk, talk to them. Support them to go and get tested and go with them if you have to.

5) HIV is not a death sentence anymore but it is a LIFE sentence. You can live to be a very old person but it won't always be easy with the medications you have to take daily.

6) If you do test HIV positive you will have to tell every potential partner you have throughout the course of your life that you are positive. Failing to do this could lead to some very serious legal circumstances and you could go to jail. The law hasn't caught up to the current information and facts but there are people fighting to have them changed.

They say that every twelve seconds, someone in the world will become infected with HIV. That person may be in your neighbourhood and if they were, would you support them? It's believed and statistics are available that show 26% of men who have sex with men don't know they are infected or haven't been tested. They are also finding and compiling statistics on women who don't know their status.

HIV and treatment of HIV have changed so much over the years. There shouldn't be the stigma around it that there is. If people get the education and the truth, we might be able to end stigmatization. HIV has been around for 30 years now, lets not let it be around another 30 years. Let us care about each other and move to "Get To Zero in 2012".

First of all, this information is intended for those who are able to take Vitamin D and other supplements. I have heard from people who say they can't or shouldn't take them. Checking with your doctor is always the best advice.

You may have heard Vitamin D being called the "sunshine" drug. Sunshine is something our body needs. At times, like during our long 7 month long winters, when there isn't much sunshine outdoors and shining through our windows, it is suggested that we take Vitamin D to make sure our body gets its daily requirement. It makes sense to me. I attribute the fact that I don't suffer from SADs during the winter to my consumption of the sunshine pill. SAD is Seasonal Affective Disorder, a psychiatric illness in which patients suffer from depression during the winter. Other names for the condition are winter depression, the winter blues or seasonal depression. Taking the supplement isn't the only suggestion, getting out for exercise is important as well but I will add to that, depending on the weather conditions.

The best source for "up to date" health information for Canadians living with HIV is none other than CATIE (Canadian AIDS Treatment Information Exchange). If you go to their site (listed below) you can find a list of all supplements, charts which list the amounts recommend you take, and what exactly they target. They also have the disclaimer that you consult your doctor before taking supplements.

When looking for supplements I read the labels, most state what they target, like bones & teeth, red blood cells or the immune system. I recently re-discovered Cod Liver Oil and found out it is good for the immune system. I am so glad it can be taken in a gel capsule form now. I just cringe when I remember how as children we had to take that teaspoon of smelly and foul tasting goop Mom held out in front of us. Yuck.

So here are the Supplements I am taking along with my HIV medications:

A.M.
20 minims Cod Liver Oil support Immune functioning
500 mgs Calcium for Bone Density Bone health
1000 IU Vitamin D3 to work with Calcium bone & teeth
250 mcg Vitamin B12 for Blood support
10,000 IU Vitamin A for eye and bone health
50 mg Zinc - general immune function

P.M. (before bed)
500 mgs Calcium for Bone Density Bone health
1000 IU Vitamin D to work with Calcium, bones&teeth

I have heard of a few others I might try since I haven't seen any problems with my health or my counts. I am open to suggestions if you have any.

Wikipedia.com: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_Affective_Disorder
CATIE: www.catie.ca
http://www.catie.ca/en/practical-guides/21-vitamins-minerals-and-supplements
1 800 263 1638
All information from CATIE is free, comes mailed to you in a plain brown envelope for your privacy. ACG (AIDS Commitee of Guelph also has much of their literature in the office.)

by B.J. Caldwell, Educator

An article in the Ottawa Citizen online edition on Nov. 8th highlights a pilot project aiming to reduce the number of people who are unkowingly infected with HIV by vastly increasing the numbers of HIV tests offered. The Seek and Treat project is being tried in select cities in the U.S. as well. During this project anyone who enters a hospital, lab, clinic, and perhaps their doctor's office will be likely offered an HIV test.

The effectiveness?:

British research has demonstrated a cost benefit when the prevalence of diagnosis is one or two out of every 1,000 tests.

"We expect our diagnostic yield be higher than that," Gustafson said.

Detecting and treating HIV, especially in its early stage, helps reduce medical costs and prevents further transmission. Highly active anti-retroviral therapy (HAART) suppresses the virus to undetectable levels. B.C. research has shown that 40 per cent of those who died of HIV-related causes between 1997 and 2005 had never received the life-saving medication. Citing U.S. Center for Disease Control research, Gustafson said lifetime HIV treatment costs nearly $400,000 per patient, but patients diagnosed early enough require less treatment, saving the health-care system up to $61,000 per patient.

About 14 per cent of people newly diagnosed have advanced disease at the time of diagnosis, which suggests they ignored symptoms or had no symptoms before they were tested.

The screening program will be evaluated for effectiveness, including cost benefits, and if it is deemed to be successful, it is expected it will become part of routine health care.

This November 21st, the AIDS Committee of Guelph/Wellington County will be holding its 7th Annual HIV and AIDS Symposium. The cost is $30.00 for the one day conference (which includes a $5.00 donation to the United Way) and there will be a hot buffet lunch served. This is a great chance to keep up with current HIV and Hep C issues affecting people in our community

Topics this year:

HIV Update which will look at recent developments in the world of HIV prevention, treatment, and care.

Ageing and HIV Panel will examine the experience of 4 local people as they age with HIV

Hepatitis C Update will provide you with information surrounding the recent groundbreaking improvements in Hep C treatment from our local Hepatitis C Nurse.

Harm/Reduction in Our Community will provide a look at the various Harm Reduction services offered in our area and by our Harm Reduction and Hepatitis C outreach workers

Syndemics and Gay/Bi Men will take a look at new psychosocial research proving that a syndemic is occuring among gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men and what changes are required in gay men's HIV prevention in order to address it

To register for the conference, click here.

To download a copy of the poster (pdf) to help us advertise, click here.

By Chat Junkie / Wayne B

In this posting I'm going to talk about something I've been doing for a year now and haven't blogged about it yet. Last year about this time, I was just finishing up the Positive Prevention course and had done a couple blogs on here, when I was approached on two occasions to see if I would be interested in sitting on the ACG Board of Directors. I was informed that there are two seats on the board for community members or....us, PHAs (persons living with HIV/AIDS). Honestly, being asked took me by surprise but they told me to think about it. I did think, for about a day or so and then I said, "sure!"

I seen this opportunity as a way of representing other PHAs and having their concerns addressed in any issues the board would be discussing and making decisions on. Any decision requires a discussion, everyone at the table is encouraged to speak up and give imput and I like that.

One thing that led me to accepting was, "no experience necessary". They did set up with some training on Board Governance through the Guelph Volunteer Centre (GVC). When I attended the sessions, constantly things came up by Gayle and she would say, "you should hear what the ACG is doing". I was often called upon to talk about what it was we were doing but at that point, I had only been to one meeting. Our board had worked with the GVC to put together our Governance Manual which lays out all of our policies and procedures. Our mission Statement/Vision, which is, "We dream of a time and place where everyone is free to live healthy, vital lives," was used as a model for others.

At the beginning of October I went for some other training put on by the Ontario AIDS Network (OAN), as part of their Positive Leadership Development Institute program. It was called "Bored........Get on Board" and it looked at more at being on a board as a HIV positive person. I feel more comfortable in my position on the Board now and as proof of that, I am starting my second year on the Executive Commitee seat as the new Treasurer. Yaaaaaay!

Other training I have taken was a one day course on GIPA which stands for "Greater Involvement by People Living With HIV/AIDS." A popular slogan that is often mentioned with GIPA is "Its not about us without us." The objective of GIPA is to allow PHAs more involved in their care, their rights and services just to name a few, by attending workshops, conventions etc. and actively participating and contributing.

So........as of the end of last nights meeting (Oct. 26th) there are two seats available if anyone is interested in filling them. I can say that you don't have to wear a label saying that you are a PHA. People don't need to know that you are a PHA and that includes the public. I just tell people I am on the board, that's it, and all they need to know. It would be the same if I was on any other board.

If anyone is interested you can contact Tom Hammond or myself and we can submit your name to the Recruiting Committee. The more people we are able to put on the board allows for more voices and more people to do the things that will benefit us all. If sitting on the board isn't your thing you can still have your voice heard by knowing who the board members are and having them bring your concerns to the meetings. There is always at least one board member at every ACG function who is willing to hear from you.

Why? Nearly 30% of people living with HIV in Ontario don't know that they have the virus. When people get tested, they can access treatment and support, and learn how to protect their partners.

Look out for our testing campaign advertisements across Guelph! We have a bus shelter ad located on the corner of Quebec Street and Wyndham Street (at St.George's Square.) Our digital ad (below) is playing in bars, restaurants and clinics across town. You will also find posters and postcards in social service agencies, stores and offices in Guelph and Wellington County.

We encourage you to download and share these resources yourself:
postcard.pdf
poster.pdf

More information about the campaign can be found here.

We have rapid testing here at the AIDS Committee of Guelph and Wellington County, at 89 Dawson Road, Unit 115. Testing happens every Wednesday from 1:30 - 3:30. No appointment is required. Rapid testing means that you can find out if you are HIV negative right away, so there is no waiting. And it is anonymous, which means that your name and identity is not requested, recorded or reported.

By Church Mouse

Who would have thought that a timid and self conscious mouse like me would get up and tell my story of how HIV/AIDS has affected my life? I grew up in rural Ontario, where we planted corn, had a huge vegetable garden and pigs to feed. I think I had a pretty normal childhood. I attended the local high school when AIDS hadn't even been heard of yet! So....it sort of makes sense that my first exposure as a HIV positive speaker would be to a grade nine class in Paris, Ontario. My hands shook, my knees wobbled and my brain was mush. My thoughts were .....OMG what have I got myself into?!

Many eyes were focused on me, anticipating my disclosure and putting a face to this disease that they were just hearing about. In those early days I too was struggling to understand it myself. However, I certianly could tell them how fearful I was, and that my biggest support came from my partner, Gordon, who was also positive himself.

You could almost hear a pin drop when Linda, our Support Worker, introduced me. The students seemed leary about what they should ask, so Linda decided to start the dialog by asking me some questions. I was grateful for her help. You see, for me, imaging the audience in their underwear wouldn't even come close to steadying my nerves! (Over the years, however, I have learned that the audience wants you to succeed; they are not as critical as you think they will be. I have also learned that pauses have affect.)

It is February and I am anticipating another opportunity to share with another class on Monday. It is the weekend and suddenly I have what I thought was sinus headache, followed by intense pain. Seventy-two hours later I am dignosed with Shingles.'' Shingles!!! I'm not over 70 how can this be? Who knew!!!"  I guess my body was trying to tell me something.....I couldn't handle any more stress! Yep! I got the message... or did I? Five weeks of unbelievable pain and itching, both my eyes swelled, my forehead was infected from my scratching. I showered at least 6 times a day because the heat gave me some tempory relief. I was put on an antibotic and demerol.Whoo hoo! I would be talking to someone and doze off in the middle of a conversation, waking minutes later to continue my sentence. I walked off the back porch like I was walking on water, nevermind the three steps that were there. Gordon took good care of me. And the students sent best wishes. Most people you hear about who have shingles usually get it around their mid-section, but I just had to be different! The virus followd the nerve endings in my forhead, around eyes and up into my scalp. I was told by a Doctor just this year. that I was lucky that I didn't lose my vision.

Surprisingly, the scars don't bother me because I know that Gordon and my friends and family love me unconditonally.

To me they are signs of the battle I am still fighting. As for public speaking again, I'm not sure right now... maybe somewhere down the road.As for this platform, I like it alot.

We are seeking quotations to be used as a slideshow during a musical presentation for our annual vigil on World AIDS Day. If you would like to contribute something, please feel free to answer one, (or more, or all) of these questions. You can either write them out and hand them to me (Megan) directly, or email them to me at positiveprevention@aidsguelph.org, or leave a comment on the blog.  Your name will not appear during the slideshow.

 Here are the questions!

1. How did you feel when you were first diagnosed with HIV? How do you feel about it today?

2. How do you feel when you think about the people you know who have died from HIV/AIDS?

4. What do you want people to know about HIV / Living with HIV?

Thanks!!!

By Church Mouse

How does someone cope with the dreaded news of being HIV positive and keep moving forward?

It is 1991, AIDS is thought of as something that only gay men were getting, and certianly not women and children. I don't remember if any of the celeberties talked openly about AIDS or maybe that came much later. Rock Hudson was the first I remember hearing about.When the movie Philadephia came out, I couldn't bring myself to watch it I was living with my own fears. In the weeks and months that followed our diagnosis I sought out support. I called our local AIDS committee and the gentlman on the other end of the line listened patiently while I spilled my story of diagnosis and the doctor's callous response. This gentleman, knowing that he probably wasn't going to get this timid mouse through the agency door for support, offered to meet me at a local coffee shop. This started me on the road to meeting other PHA's and on to telling my story publicly.

I am still working at this time in a factory making styrofoam plates for resturants.The stress of keeping part of my life secret was taking it's toll and I came down with phemonia. The flu is just the flu, unless you are positive. Then it can become a "what if''. As for work, I made the biggest mistake I could have. Because of fear of rejection, not knowing who I could confide in, and fear of seriously injurying myself, I quit my job instead of taking long term leave, therefore losing my benifits.

Over in our personal life, it took me along time to persude Gordon to get tested. I think that he felt that once the words were spoken it would become a reality. Since niether of us had any serious infections at this point, we decided to wait, but ultimately he did get tested. We waited an agonizing five weeks for his results to come back.

Living a double life was becoming impossible. It was time to share with family and friends. Deep breath......that's right Church Mouse just blurt it out!Outstanding!!!! Now you got the nieces all crying.Ooopppsss! My oldest neice asked, "how long I have you known?" "A year I say". "Oh mouse, you should have know that we are here for you and always will be no matter what."

Mother was not so easy. I took backup - my support worker from my agency - under the guise that we were just up for a visit. Mother wanted to talk about her garden, wanted to know where my friend was from, talked about the weather, who had a baby recently, etc., etc., etc. I was procrastinating. I didn't want her to blame my partner and I know I put her in an awkward position by bringing a stranger into our home with bad news. Each time my mother turned away to do something in the kitchen, Linda kept motioning me to go ahead....and her motions were getting more exaggerated each time. I would have started laughing if I hadn't commited myself to doing this. After I explained my situation, mother's body language told us that we needed to give her time for it to sink in. Since she wasn't making eye contact and she told my dad that I had a blood disorder.We made our exit.

Our families stood by us. Their support was amazing. I know how hard it was not to want someone to blame.When it came to friends, Gordon's experiences were not as good.One of his good friends walked right out of his life. Another time, Gordon was working on a job landscaping and when he told the boss he had an appointment in London, the fellow suggested in a very scarcastic manner and in front of everyone, "he must have AIDS!" (That's were the HIV specialists were.) Go figure! How did he know?

Mostly we handled HIV together the two of us like soliders pressing on into battle.Winston Churchhill once said, "knowledge is the key to winning a war," so we armed ourselves with knowledge and support and kept on moving.

Xtra! has an  interview with Michael Burtch about walking 'the tightrope between advocacy and privacy'. He discusses his HIV status and how the criminalization of non-disclosure has affected him. Be sure and check it out!

The Education program at the AIDS Committee of Guelph offers online outreach to gay, bi, and other men who have sex with men in our region. We screen, select, and train appropriate volunteers to provide this service. Training is upcoming this fall (October) and ACG is looking for volunteers? Ideally,  volunteers would be self-identified gay/bi/queer/trans men, but we have had some excellent queer women who have excelled at online outreach to gay/bi men in the past, so we encourage queer women to apply as well.

Once trainining is complete, we ask that volunteers make a 1.5-3hr committment a week (1 shift is 1.5 hours and can be completed anywhere you have reliable access to the internet).

For more information, please send an email to: education@aidsguelph.org

The issue:

Following information that a Toronto Company, ACCU-METRICS, has been advertising HIV home test kits for sale via their website, Health Canada would like to remind Canadians that there are currently no HIV test kits that have been authorized for home use in Canada.

The Accu-HIV 1 & 2 Saliva Test, or any other HIV home test kits, have not been evaluated by Health Canada for safety and effectiveness. Inaccurate test results from unlicensed HIV test kits may provide Canadians with false test results, such as a failure to indicate HIV in an infected individual, or indicate HIV when none is present.

Who is affected:
Canadians who have purchased HIV home test kits.

What consumers should do:
Consult your healthcare practitioner if you have used any HIV home test kits and/or are concerned about your health. Report any complaints potentially related to HIV home test kits to Health Canada (see below). What Health Canada is doing:
ACCU-METRICS has voluntarily complied with Health Canada’s instructions that this product will not be sold to Canadians via their website. It is illegal to advertise or sell unlicensed medical devices in Canada. In addition, Health Canada officials have also alerted our international partners about Accu-HIV 1 & 2 Saliva Test available via the Internet.

For more information on home test kits, please visit Health Canada’s It’s Your Health articles on Medical Test Kits for Home Use and Buying Medical Devices over the Internet. For more information on HIV and how you can protect yourself, Health Canada has also published an It’s Your Health article on HIV/AIDS. To confirm whether a device is licensed in Canada, please refer to the Medical Devices Active Licence Listing.

Health Canada will continue to monitor the situation and will take appropriate action and inform Canadians, if necessary.

Products affected:
Accu-HIV 1 & 2 Saliva Test

For more information:

Consumers and health professionals wanting more information about this advisory from Health Canada can contact the Public Enquiries Line at 613-957-2991, or toll free at 1-866-225-0709.
Media enquiries related to this Advisory should be directed to Health Canada Media Relations at 613-957-2983.
How to report problems with consumer products:
Complaints involving home HIV test kits or any other medical devices can be reported to the Health Products and Food Branch Inspectorate by calling the toll-free hotline at 1-800-267-9675, or by writing to:
Health Products and Food Branch Inspectorate
Health Canada
Address Locator: 2003D
Ottawa, Ontario K1A 0K9

Related Health Canada Web content:
Warning (June 22, 2009): Health Canada is Warning Canadians Not to Use Clean Testing HIV Home Test Kit, or Any Home HIV Test Kit